I mentioned in the earlier post that I had been "abandoned" by several whom I at one time considered "good" friends. I am a person, I feel. I invest in everyone around me. My assumption is that those whom I call "friend" will indeed be a "friend" in return. Thus, it is a shock to me when those whom I expect to support and encourage me, even in the most difficult of times, simply push away. With very few exceptions, I was alone my last week in Brownwood. One of my friends even told me that I should "expect" this treatment. Wow! I was stunned. This seemed to be a justification that allowed this person to behave in this fashion, even though he knew, deep inside, it was wrong, even petty. Now before I dig myself into a 'hole' here, I need to make a clarification; not a retraction mind you, but a clarification.
When you leave people you love, they react in different ways. I get it. Some are hurt that you are leaving and can't face it. Some are glad to see you gone and finally are able to revel in your departure. They just don't do it in front of you. Some are jealous of your departure, because deep inside they want to leave as badly as you, they just don't know how to leave or don't have the opportunity. That sadness in all of this is that it reflects a base selfishness. Selfishness on my part because I want my friends to support me. Selfishness on their part because, well, they are unwilling to stand with me for their own reasons.
I hurt right now, but I'll get over it. Too much to do here. My friends will eventually get over their hurt or anger. Maybe they will even keep in touch with me. I hope so. They will eventually get their chance to leave as well. And that is where their character will reveal itself. As I look carefully in the last analysis on all that has transpired, I realize that I have not suffered abandonment like our Lord, or like so many others in our world. I am good. I pray that the sun shines upon the faces of those whom I left behind in Texas and that our Lord gives them peace.